


Dare you to look at me

by BigSarc



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-01-06 17:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18392891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigSarc/pseuds/BigSarc
Summary: Remus sees Sirius walk out of the shower and the dominos of emotions and hormones of the boys.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was hardest to write, don’t know if I did justice communicating what I felt. This will have either head or tail or both.

Sirius walked out of the shower with just a loose bathrobe tied around his waist. He knew Remus can see. He knew Remus wants to see him.

 _I want you to look at me. I know you want to look at me. I dare you to look at me like you want to_ , was going through Sirius mind as he was intently looking at Remus looking at him.

Remus was not able to take his eyes off Sirius. He saw him, bare-chested droplets of water from the shower, and a loose bathrobe tied around his waist. Gryffindor red contrasting his pale skin.

When Remus looked into Sirius' eyes there was no confidence that he usually carries. There was an agreement that Remus can look as long as he wants to and it won’t be used against him, there was gladness Remus was staring.

Sirius picked up pyjama bottoms from his truck and put it on, still looking at Remus. Remus looked away giving the other boy some space, more like he thought his heart would explode beating too fast. Remus heart raced like that when he got letter from Hogwarts, when he thought he would lose his friends because they found out he was werewolf, when he realized they were not going to, when his friends mastered animagus to run with him, when he woke up in hospital bed and knew he almost killed someone, his heart raced on every full moon since he was five and every once in a while nowadays whenever Sirius was remotely involved in anything.

Remus started collecting his things to be anywhere than in the same room as Sirius. Sirius knew what Remus was planning. It happened a few times before. Whenever Remus behaved like he wanted to, he shuts down and leaves the place. Sirius walked in slow firm strides towards Remus and stepped on the way stopping Remus. Remus tried to budge but ended up closer to Sirius.

Not knowing what to do Remus looked at Sirius again. His thought process of leaving the room was lost and he started observing Sirius, a tiny birthmark in his left eyebrow, slowly oscillating solid silver orbs of eyes, hairs he missed shaving, water dripping on to shoulders and chest from his hair and scandalously low waisted pyjama trousers. Sirius felt intense comfort under Remus' eyes. He could feel his body temperature rising under the scrutiny of Remus.

 _It’s okay. You can._ _Whatever you want to_.

The body language of the boys was that of an old couple who had a fight and one of them is offering peace while other falling for the known bait.

Nobody would have thought that they didn’t have their first kiss yet or even that they didn’t confide their feelings for each other. Sirius stance, look and nearness made Remus felt like he had the freedom to do whatever he wanted: touch him, feel him. Remus was at loss of control on being offered something so valuable and beautiful, Sirius’ consent. So Remus did what the irrational part of his brain suggested. He dipped his head and nudged the hollow above Sirius collar bone. Sirius’ eyes watered in delight and leaned towards the awkward embrace of Remus. With that, all of Remus sanity and human rationality was stripped off.

Remus held Sirius’ bare shoulders and moved to nudge the hollow below the Adam's apple. Sirius lifted his head in submission to give more space for Remus to move around. Remus was nudging and moving down slowly, and Sirius blood flow followed him. They were holding on to each other’s biceps for support. Sirius’ closed eyes were looking at roof while he was enjoying every sensation of Remus touch.

Remus subconsciously knew he couldn’t be any far from sanity and rationality until he licked Sirius’ navel in the lewdest way either could possibly think of. Sirius shivered from the sensuality of the act. This made Remus snap back from the abyss of irrationality to reality. He discarded Sirius and stepped back staring with shock and traces of angst. He muttered “I’m extremely sorry for taking advantage Padfoot.” with guilt that pained Sirius.

Sirius was in shock too, but for different reasons. _**No! Moony you are not taking advantage. I want you to see me, touch me, more if possible.**_

Before Sirius expressed his thoughts out loud, Remus picked up his bag and dashed out of the dorm.

Sirius recovered from the happenings and ran into the common room to explain what he felt to Remus. “… library?” shouted James to Remus who was closing the common room door behind him.

Everyone observing the hassle turn to look at Sirius. “Now, what the hell did you do Padfoot?” asked James with anger and judgement hard to miss.

“This time around it’s what I didn’t do,” replied Sirius with annoyance. He also gave a general what’s your business shrug to the lot staring at him. James softened immediately. “Let’s go get you a shirt Padfoot,” said Peter pointing his chin towards the dorm. “ I need to talk to Moony.” pleaded Sirius. “Give him some time to clear his head and you need to breathe Padfoot,” said concerned Peter. “And you need to put on a shirt!”, emphasized James trying to protect Sirius’ indecency from the lot staring at him.


	2. He is going to be the death of me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus trying to explain Sirius why they shouldn't be together.

Remus opened and peaked through the curtains of Sirius bed. Sirius immediately discarded the book he was reading and sat up wondering what Remus was doing.

“May I?” asked Remus.

“Of course Moony! Any time.”, said Sirius opening the curtains. Sirius’ heart was beating off parchments as Remus step inside the canopy and closed curtains behind.

“The rest?” muttered Remus as he sat in the edge of the bed. “Is there a concern Moony? Do you need anything? ”, concerned Sirius.

“No Sirius, I’m good. As good as life allows anyway. ”, nervous chuckled Remus.

“Minney gave Prongs detention to scrub Hufflepuff magical creatures shelter. She must have run out of Gryffindor and Slytherin’s. And wormtail assisting him to find shit.” replied Sirius with a raised eyebrow and casual air of arrogance and Remus nodded.

Remus knew this, confirmed it nevertheless. He sighed and kneeled down at the middle of the bed foot, straight from knees to head. Sirius imitated same position at middle of the bed subconsciously, confounded at what Remus was doing.

“Huh. Merlin save me.”, muttered Remus as he started unbuttoning his pyjama top. Sirius was dumb stuck, his mouth half opens gasping for air, light-headed as the blood drained off his face bit by bit for every button.

“Sirius, this is me,” muttered Remus. “ I did this to myself. I go through this every month. You know how brutal it is. I’m scared for the lives of you three on that one night more than I do every other night. I can ki.. ”

“We will…” interrupted Sirius not liking where the conversation was going.

“STOP! SIRIUS! LISTEN! I can kill you. It’s taking three of you to stop me. I’m glad and I will always be indebted to you. Just one wrong thing, and I can kill you. I don’t want to put YOU in further danger, any more than you are already in. I don’t want to hurt anyone, or come close doing again. ” muttered Remus through his teeth.

“You lived with us for past six years moony. The only person you ever came near to hurt was Snape and it was because of my stupidity. I learnt my mistake. I get it. You can kill people. I’m sorry for testing it. You know I’m.” said Sirius in near tears. “ I can be as Padfoot with you on a full moon. You never hurt me as Padfoot. Anytime I get hurt was because I run into branches.” pleading.

“What you are asking is not just sharing a ROOM!” shouted Remus, “Nor going for a run at midnight on a full moon.” hissed the last part.

Sirius flinched at the voice of Remus. It’s not often he raises his voice for one person audience.

“Moony, please. We.. I.. please Mooney.”

Remus sighed with more pain than Sirius can ever understand. He buttoned up and left the canopy. Sirius slid his face in the same place Remus kneeled before, “Gordic balls! He is fucking really going to be the death of me.”


End file.
